so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
