I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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