do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
