I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
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I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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