he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
