Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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