who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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