Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
