I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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