I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
nutella sex= disaster
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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