If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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