she was so not down for the gang bang
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
