Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
