You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
