Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
