i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
