She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
