I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
