In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
