Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
