im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
