pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Shame is for Republicans.
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