Fuck appropriateness.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
