if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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