he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
