I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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