His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What a dumb baby whore.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
