I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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