I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
