You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He shit in the fireplace
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
