hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
