so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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