so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
