god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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