i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
