just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
