The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
