So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
