I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i think i just lost a toe
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
