the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize