Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
