What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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