Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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