Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
