Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize