I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
