For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
