your parents love me but you hate me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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