How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
