eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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