You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
