so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
