So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
