therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
