I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
