i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
