$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize