The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
