I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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