The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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