Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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